apparently, mario lopez likes ribs… or steak… or chicken (bbq chicken)... or something with meat or potatoes in it because i saw “zack’s mexican friend” at tony roma’s tonight.

i wasn’t impressed at first. i merely thought, hey, just another handsome hispanic... until i realized who it was. finally. long after most people would’ve been able to figure it out. i guess i had trouble recognizing him because he wasn’t showing off the guns!

so, this is where our story begins…

after some back story! i’m trying to keep this hush-hush, but i actually work at tony roma’s. my job is to greet and seat people who come in, even though most of them aren’t famous.

anyway, after months of minor celebrity sightings that couldn’t compete with the ben afflecks and the dave “gruber” allens, it finally happens!

a.c. triumphantly enters and has that presence that makes you think, hey, just another handsome hispanic. i hold up two fingers and say, “two.” he responds with a “yes.” i tell him to follow me, and he does. we tango our way to the crappiest table in the restaurant, continuing to speak monosyllabically, until he requests a booth. unfortunately, there are no booths available.

long story short, mario lopez doesn’t have enough pull in hollywood to get a booth at tony roma’s.

later on, mario (who does not have a personal assistant) comes up and asks for a pen. trustingly, i hand him mine… and he fucking takes it!

the moral of the story is… DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TRUST MARIO LOPEZ.

just for fun, here are some slater facts:


  • slater fact #1: mario lopez does not carry pens.

  • slater fact #2: mario lopez loooooves booths.

  • slater fact #3: mario lopez probably has a lengthy prison record.

  • slater fact #4: people only appreciate saved by the bell on an ironic level.


19 Responses to “the bayside burglar”  

  1. 1 anthony

    ...and, celia, i’m this close to getting my hands on that lock of lark voorhies’ hair that you wanted so badly.

  2. 2 Peter

    you didn’t answer the question that is on the tip of everybody’s tongue! Was he with the ‘doritos girl’ or not?!

  3. 3 joey

    and if so, did you ask them about their terrible performance in the boston marathon?

  4. 4 celia

    anthony—thanks so much about that lock of hair…

    you know, i’m planning on giving you a lock of hair as well.

    from peter.

    it’s red hair.

    think about that.

    -c

  5. 5 anthony

    thinking…

  6. 6 anthony

    no, but he was with a guy who told everyone his name was “the dorito baron.”

  7. 7 joey

    who doesn’t have some of peter’s hair clogging every drain in their house?

  8. 8 anthony

    women.

  9. 9 josh

    First off saved by the bell is awesome on many levels. Secondly fuck that guy for stealing tony’s pen. Lastly peter’s lovely locks are kick-ass and can clog my drain any time. If you know what I mean.

  10. 10 joey

    women!

  11. 11 josh

    suck it joey!

  12. 12 anthony

    oh, i’ve already made my peace with mario lopez.

  13. 13 anthony

    nevermind. no, i haven’t.

  14. 14 siodlo westernowe

    I really liked your blog, you present some in reality excellent data on this webpage.

  15. 15 Shauna Ereaux

    thanks for sharing .:)

  16. 16 Lowes Promotional Code

    You have remarked very interesting details ! ps nice site.

  17. 17 Carroll B. Merriman

    My girlfriend announced that she would beat me to near death with an ugly stick if I did not cease reading your www site.

  18. 18 klikopolo

    I must express my affection for your kind-heartedness giving support to those individuals that should have help on that issue. Your very own commitment to passing the solution up and down has been exceedingly insightful and have specifically permitted regular people just like me to realize their endeavors. The warm and helpful guidelines signifies a lot to me and much more to my peers. Thanks a lot; from each one of us.

  19. 19 view private myspace

    I wish to voice my affection for your kindness for individuals that really want guidance on this question. Your special commitment to getting the solution all through turned out to be especially invaluable and have regularly allowed folks just like me to realize their pursuits. Your new warm and helpful recommendations denotes a great deal to me and much more to my peers. Many thanks; from each one of us.

Leave a Reply



buddies